Poem: Fear…

i watch, watch and watch,

as the river does her snaking,

the monkey her chattering,

the women dance to drums,

a snake does her hissing,

like a big snake she sounds,

as big as my fears,

because i’m paranoid in reverse,

i suspect mother nature,

of plotting to make me happy,

i’m afraid of being rejected,

yes, i’m afraid of being accepted too,

being accepted for the wrong reasons.


my inaction has bred doubt and fear,

i’ve let fear choose my destiny,

i’ve starved my faith to death,

fear has become my habit,

addicted to self pity and resignation,

hopelessness and anxiety,

despair and defeat,

i’m tired of dreaming,

dreaming, ‘i can and i will’,

dreaming a huge foolish project like Noah’s?

i can’t fail my way to success,

i can’t do what i’m afraid to do,

to go back a little to leap further,

yet success is heavy,

carrying so much responsibility,

so i’ll sit here and think about it,

instead of going out and getting busy.


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