Are you the baboon?

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention moron. Have you ever wondered where other baboons were and what they were busy doing when their fellows were evolving to be human beings.I call them morons, because in life, if all you do is get left behind when your peers and fellows are moving ahead, you are such.

But today I got beef with these animals.

1. If you are a murderer and think you can go on a shooting spree with a gun anyhow, anywhere, then you are the baboon. Yeah. Just spying over a jungle just to make a kill. What you saying, you killing wild animals? Baboon you!


2. If you don’t know what you are or your niche in the society, you are the baboon. Be focused. Know what you want. Don’t be a fence sitter. Yeah, stand on something. Even Simon Peter stood on water for some time. Don’t be half this, half that!


3. If the car is full and you still wanna board, shame on you!! You are still asking me who the baboon is? Come on, grow some beard and hair on the armpits. Car full? Don’t board! Go to your destination by jumping over from tree to tree, or do anything else. Ok?


4. If you get into cars before the lady , you are the baboon. Ever heard of ladies first? No? Baboons don’t know jargon, that’s why. The lady should be the first to get into the car, while you do the “watching”. Isn’t that what real men do? They watch over, right? Men are visual creatures, not baboons like you.


5. How dare you? Shame on you. You don’t know how to start the engine. You are looking for the ignition hole? In short you are DRUNK, yes? Hey friends, come and see the baboon. And your kids are just beside you in the front seat. Yet you want to start the car and go home. Don’t go home! No, “Go Away!” That’s where you should go.


6. You started preaching? Who sent you? You preach and you no sent you the big baboon. You look like a beggar. In fact i think you trying to make money. Money is made in the mint, not on roads preaching. I mean you who preaches water and drink wine. Stop preaching, go home, and drink wine. Otherwise traffic jams are better than you.


7. The hair on your head is not yours?? It’s a wig? Hahaha, baboons be everywhere i see. You wig, you baboon! Fullstop!!


8. You are trying to make us laugh, eh? Trying hard indeed! Laughing at your own jokes. Even laughing gas cannot make us laugh at your jokes. We can actually only laugh at your jokes at gun point. So you start your own TV show to make us laugh and instead we cry, yes? I’m not even dwelling on the issue of who the baboon is here, go away!!


* with utmost apologies to baboons. i love you baboons*

10 thoughts on “Are you the baboon?

    1. haha, i have to make my readers happy elisha. the bhang did a good job i think. i hope the seven years are long hahaha. but, i aint doing that stuff for real!!


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